Teachers' foibles

Their unions still posture, but teachers are less left-leaning than you thinkDAFFODILS bloom and chocolate eggs melt as the long Easter weekend draws near. Alongside such pleasures is another, equally seasonal: the annual outpouring from the teaching unions conferences, whose massed pedagogues can always be relied on to provide a few news stories to delight the headline-writers. Guaranteed are jeremiads about parents and pupils, both inferior to those of yesteryear in various, not always consistent, ways. (In 2008 parents were criticised for being oversolicitous and their offspring for being little princes and princesses; this year the fashion is to bash them for being, respectively, neglectful and unsocialised.) Fairly standard attempts to blame the raw materials rather than inadequate workmen, but these moans are given a ready hearing because they confirm the fears of many readers (and not a few editors) that the nations moral fibre is in shreds.

Simpsons 20th Anniversary

After two decades of spoofing pop culture silly, The Simpsons has yet to lose steam. Same goes for its anniversary festivities, which continue throughout April and May with commemorative postal stamps and further crowdsourcing. On Monday, couch potatoes worldwide were invited to submit their own versions of the series' opening sofa gag to the The Simpsons' MySpace page. Pile your family or friends onto a couch, add the show's theme song and a joke, upload by May 18 and you might win a trip to Los Angeles to attend The Simpsons' Season 21 premiere party or a Sony home entertainment system. Meanwhile, April is full of Simpson fools at the post office. On Thursday, the U.S. postal service will offer a sneak peek at forthcoming commemorative stamps of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie personally designed by show creator and executive producer, Matt Groening. UPDATE: The Simpsons stamps have been unveiled (see image above). Vote for your favorite Simpsons stamps at the post office website. The honors and interactive celebrations will continue through the year until the series' 20th anniversary comes to a close in January 2010. Past contests included a poster competition, which culminated Monday with three grand prize winners, including James King whose clever shadow homage to Homer-ic child abuse is viewable at right in all its splendor. Don't have a cow, man. It's just television history. Photo courtesy Fox See also: Simpsons Poster Contest Will Have Fans Seeing Yellow New Season of The Simpsons Promises Stars, Satire, Obama Simpsons Ink Deal for 20th Season, Score More D'Oh The Simpsons Get Green for Krustyland Ride The Simpsons Mock Cult of Apple Leaked Simpsons Skit Blazes Through the Net

Domino magazine

Since every magazine I warm to is doomed immediately thereafter -- Budget Living, Blueprint, Cottage Living -- it is not really a surprise that Domino may go on the chopping block next month. ("It Could Get Conde Nasty," NYP, Dec 26, 08)This is a bad time to be a shelter magazine: people think "house" and do not automatically think "decorate" any more -- they think "refinance" or "crisis." So magazines that coo over spending on the home seem out-of-touch to a readership that's worried about how their home's lost 20% in value since they bought it.There are two other items in that story that I found interesting for a media landscape at large:"Digital accounts for only 3 percent of [Conde Nast's] total revenue," said one knowledgeable executive. "They don't make a penny on digital - and they never have."Speaking personally: With the exception of the New Yorker, which is sui generis, Conde Nast's consumer titles have become increasingly irrelevant to me -- and I'm a fairly avid media junkie. The big reason: the magazine-supporting sites are terrible. There's no reason to go to them at all -- and there's no reason to pick up the magazine if I can't extend my engagement online. I am not particularly enamored of how the Time family of magazines has taken to the Web -- there is no announcement on the front page of Cottage Living that the company's shuttering the Web site within days, for example -- but they look like online visionaries compared to your average Conde Nast site.(Also, it amuses me to no end that Martha Stewart's come the closest to achieving perfect cross-channel synergy via her website. Of course she has. Now if she could only revive Blueprint ...)AHEM. On to item #2 of interest to us all: Vogue, the biggest money maker in the company, had a poor year, sliding 9.6 percent in the ad-page count to 2,893.And all those ads were in the September issue. Ba-da-bum! Thank you, I'll be here through the 31st.

Birthday Wishes

Loyal and dedicated readers of my blog will know that my wife and I have the same exact birthday. You can read the whole touching heartfelt story here. And clearly, Ces of Sally Forth fame and Medium Large notoriety knew that as well. In fact, I’m going to go so far as to put on my Weingarten Cap Of Asshattery and declare that the first panel of today’s strip, appearing on my and my wife’s exact birthday, is a touching tribute to a relationship that has now spanned thirty birthdays dedicated specifically for me. For it was on this day in 1980 that I drew her aside while we were at the University of South Florida Model United Nations and gave her a birthday card. So, my darling wife, if you read this post, let it be known that my love has only grown over the twenty-nine years since I first gave you that card.And Ces, if you have the original artwork for that strip, the first panel would be the perfect payment for being the only entry in the Medium Large Guy Look-Alike Contest. That first panel sums up how I have felt for nearly three decades about my wife, partner, and friend. The last two frames where Ted petulantly defends himself against jealous recriminations, not so much.

through the recession

So today I did a recession thing.I am all about the recession right now. Since I am about to be destitute. Actually, I already am destitute, have been for years, except now I have a reason to be destitute.But anyway.So I rinsed out two bread bags. Actually, washed them with hot water and Sunlight dishwashing detergent (there could be mould in there.)Not sure how much hot water I spent. Nor how much Sunlight Soap I used.Anyway, they are now draining in the dish draining rack. Which I apparently have one of, now that I found it under the sink.Not sure what to do with those rinsed out bags, actually. Although my grandmother saved them for years, as did my mother, and on it goes. And it is important, as a frugal person, to rinse out your bags and save them.I did save, last week, some of those garbage bag wrappy up thingies. You know, the plastic things.So anyway. I have them now. I am hoping they will get me through the recession.If for nothing more than to place gently over my head because they are so clean and smell like Sunlight dishwashing detergent and steak buns. And then I can twist those twist tie thingies aroung my neck. Gently. Softly.Slowly, as Elton John says.Just kidding!!! For Gawd's sake, do not call the cops!

Cross Train

If you're a runner, you should be doing Pilates. If you bike, you should throw in a little swimming. If you strength train, you should try yoga too. Cross training is not just for the elite athlete striving for a marathon finish, according to fitness expert and personal trainer Marilynn Preston. Nope, it's for us everyday folks trying to live healthy, happy and fit lives, and "Dr. Jock," as Preston is called in the column she writes for The Gainesville Sun, says there are four good reasons we all should be mixing it up. Injury. Cross training lets your overused muscles rest, and since repetitive stress is a major cause of injuries in all sports, you really ought to give your biking legs a rest by lapping it up in the pool. Boredom. Repetition wears on muscles -- and on the mind too. Boredom is one of the main reasons people quit working out, so try to engage in two to three activities to keep your motivation fresh. You want to achieve lifelong fitness, after all, and variety will get you there. Self-confidence. We all need to leave our comfort zones now and then, so don't be a star in one sport -- become good at several, and your self-esteem will soar. Flexibility. Back-up plans are key in all walks of life. When your legs give out on the running circuit, you'll need a plan B. When you travel and find no fitness center in your hotel, you'll need to find a walking path or some stairs to climb. Preston isn't only an authority on cross training -- she's got four tips for squeezing fitness into tough economic times, she can tell you how to step up and pep up your walking and here, she's got eight ideas for making your summer a healthy one.

How I Like to Say No

Tomorrow morning - or today, depending on when you read this - is BlogPotomac. It's an unconference, so more on the conversation and less on the one sided-lecture.It's even a Powerpoint free. And while at Communitelligence's Executing Employing Social Media Conference, I noted that I'm not big fan of the verbose PPT presentation (I spoke on crisis in social media and influencing the influencers - btw, there is no such thing), I did prepare a one page slide for BlogPotomac.All it had was one word big: Why?This fits in to the pre-conference interview I did with Debbie Weil, and the recent question from Joe Ciarallo from PR Newswer. And, well, for people that really read my blog, sorta fits into what I have been saying for the past five years.Any social media strategy should start out with that one question: Why? Think of yourself as a five-year old child and continually ask questions. Ask why.Why does this make sense? Why are we doing this? Why is this the right strategy?Social media strategy is that easy. No, I'm serious - and even though it won't play well in large agency life (btw, the days of real counsel and strategy and client push-back seem to be dead) - it is always the first question. And second question.If the answer is "well, everyone else has a blog" - you're launching a strategy for the wrong reason.If the answer lives in it's own world and is not connected to the overall public relations and/or marketing strategy, it's the wrong answer and disconnected from what is really needed.Social media is not a separate strategy. It should not be a separate strategy, but an overall part of the public relations strategy. Social media is COMPLEMENTARY to the overall public relations strategy.Here's a perfect example of charlatan social media experts giving out shitty advice: my Mom is a realtor, and social media is becoming hot there (and, since realtors tend to be luddites and late to things, Facebook should be over soon). Some asshat gave a presentation in Phoenix and told all the realtors to join LinkedIn and Facebook.Why? Well, it really never trickled down what he was trying to explain (or, more to the point, he's like every other social media "expert" that spouts out buzz words and talks a lot ... but does not walk the walk and had no real point). The point he was trying to make is to network and grow ... but are you really going to search for a new realtor or look for a home on Facebook? Or are you going to throw a sheep at them? Yes, I got nothing but love for LinkedIn ... but in real estate, face-to-face networking needs to be the first step.But, seriously, I hear the same things spouted off by the so-called experts that speak a lot ... but that's just it, they speak a lot.If your agency or consultant spouts out to start a blog, bitch slap him/her. And hard. And many times. If your agency or consultant just says "engage" but has nothing beyond that, lay down the pimp hand. Repeatedly. If your agency's or consultant's sage advice for you during a crisis is to start a blog and start engaging (a true story that lead to a large stupid agency losing a large portion of the business of a client in finance), it's obvious that the agency or consultant has no idea what they are doing.I blame the disappearance of the PR generalist and the rise of the specialist. It's the death of PR, and is getting worse with the silo-ing of talent. When I started PR, we had to be able to write, pitch, cold-call, do media AND analyst relations ... or we were pretty much told our career would go down one path of a specialist - with a sneer.Don't call me a social media specialist or expert. I'm a mutha-fucking generalist.But, hey, watch BlogPotomac here tomorrow - here on my blog!! You can watch me say no and ask why, see what I'm wearing, and talk about the Tao of Why in social media.Online Video provided by Ustream

Amazon "glitch" removes sales ranks of hundreds of LGBT books

Over the weekend a number of authors and readers noticed that Amazon appeared to have removed its sales rank figures from hundreds of books with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered themes. While that alone might not seem like a huge deal, the thing you have to keep in mind is that sales rank figures are used to determine whether books will show up in Amazon's bestseller lists or in a number of search results pages. For instance, Mark Probst is author of a young adult romance novel involving two young men in the old west. His book, The Filly, shows up if you search Amazon's "Books" category. But if you search "All Departments," the paper version of his book isn't listed. Interestingly, the Kindle eBook edition is.Probst says when he contacted Amazon for an explanation, he was told that Amazon excluded "adult" material from some searches, lists, and sales ranking. But responding to requests from several news sites this weekend, Amazon said that the delisting was actually a "glitch."Amazon says the glitch is being fixed and that sales rankings should begin showing up for these LGBT titles again soon. But a fair amount of damage has already been done. #AmazonFAIL is one of the top trending topics on Twitter right now, with a lot of people criticizing Amazon's actions and critiquing its explanation. What do you think? Glitch, or something more purposeful? Leave your theories, conspiracy or otherwise, in the comments.Update: A hacker has claimed responsibility for flagging these items. That doesn't mean that's what happened, but it is possible.Update 2: And Amazon has discredited the hacker, claiming that over 50,000 books were mistakenly flagged as "adult." The system has been updated and the titles in question are now showing up in general searches.

Things are getting done.....

I can't remember if I have posted about this before (short term memory problems at my age!)..but I have been on leave from work since before Christmas. I have worked full time for 26 years and decided it was time for a bit of a break. Time to recharge my batteries - and to get some of those things done that keep getting put off due to lack of time.The time has flown, as wise people said it would and now I only have two weeks left. So what have I achieved, and what's happened??I have actually done quite a few things from my theoretical list - I never did write a list as I thought it would scare me and paralyse me into inactivity.I have:Finally gotten rid of the two very old and stained floor rugs in my living area and replaced them with lovely new shag pile, soft and cozy ones;I have replaced my 7 year old microwave - the plate has been broken for the best part of a year - I made a few feeble attempts to find a replacement but had no luck and made do with a dinner plate - but it never rotated properly and the food was always heated unevenly. One day on my travels with a friend we found a discount electrical goods place and voila I have a new and better microwave for $89!! Amazing.I have cleaned out my wardrobe (and now have bags full of clothes which will be donated to the Victorian Bush Fire Appeal if they want them).Rebecca and I have cleaned out her toy cupboard under the stairs and started cleaning out the spare room.I have been picking Rebecca up from school at 3pm nearly every day - this is so good and I wish i could do it all the time.I have cooked dinner early so life isn't a crazy rush in the early evening.I have started printing photos of everyday events that will not get scrapped and putting these in slip albums. I have a long way to go to make up for the past 5 years or so of digital madness when I stopped creating normal photo albums. The key here was to start at a process for doing this and to take advantage of the cheap printing deals that occur at various places.I have finally had an electrician out to repair several broken light fittings that had been broken for 6 months - luckily the main time we went without these lights was also daylight saving so lots of natural light to compensate.I have started a major clean up once again of my scrap area...I have so much stuff that I had forgotten about - what a waste!It was my baby girl's birthday! I have been to the movies to see REAL GROWN UPS movies - rather than only seeing movies with Rebecca. I have seen Doubt, Valkyrie and Seven Pounds - as well as Bride Wars and Twilight several time of course! I have started to look after myself in an eating and exercise sense again (mind you this happens every January). I have slept in sometimes. I have chilled out and even watched daytime TV occasionally - although this is limited as it is mostly rubbish IMO.I have taken the opportunity to go off on my own and take photos of places I love.I have had the chance to spend time with friends - especially those that don't work FT and who I don't get to see as much as I like. This has been one of the best things.Still to do are:Take all the bags from cleaning out the various rooms and wardrobes to the Waste Station - so i can have half my garage back.Sort and print more old photos.Clean out all the drawers in my kitchen and living areas - I seem to have lots, and lots of drawers full of useless junk.I have also done some scrapping - but not lots really. I have just had lots of other things to do and have also realised that if I keep scrapping at the same rate for many more years I will have to add more shelving in the garage to put all my albums and the 100's of mini albums I have created...it is alarming.I also had some blood tests and discovered that I am very low in iron and also vitamin B - I have had a Vitamin B shot and am on B complex and Iron tablets. I am trying very hard to eat better but also lose weight and just can't bring myself to eat huge quantities of red meat - despite my doctor's encouragement. I am finding different ways to ensure I get enough iron.

What's Up With Apple?

About four months ago, I had my first ever Apple Store experience. A friend took me in to the Apple Store Chicago, and at first I was all "why are we going into this computer store?" and then I found that it was filled with wonderful toys that you could touch and play with and cheerful staff who greeted us upon arrival and ran around happily explaining the features of each Mac product even before we had to ask. "Have you tried tapping the iPhone? Have you tried tapping it twice?"Today, as I had promised to do in an earlier post, I went back to the Apple Store -- this time the DC version.But this time it was not at all the same.First of all, no one greeted me when I came in the door. In fact, no one noticed me. I tried to flag down an employee, but I couldn't tell who any of them were. Finally I figured out that they were the scruffy, kind of desultory-looking people wearing dark blue shirts. They were all busy either behind a register or at the Genius Bar; a few were on the floor, but they were assisting other customers.So I found a computer and signed up for a Personal Shopper, since I assumed that was why some of the other customers had helpers. The next time slot was fifteen minutes away. The computer said that my name would be called when it was my turn, so I decided to settle in and start playing with the toys.The second thing that troubled me was that very few of the toys were turned on. The majority of the laptops and iPhones weren't connected to the internet, and none of the iPods had sample earbuds attached. I found the single working iPhone and poked at it for a few minutes, but it wasn't all that fun.My appointment time came and went, and no one called my name. No one called anyone's names. I started trying to catch the eye of one of the employees. No one would look at me, although a few people looked at my shoes. Finally, twenty minutes after my appointment and almost an hour after I had arrived in the Apple Store, someone asked me if I needed some help.I mentioned that I had signed up for an appointment, and they were instantly apologetic, explaining that they were understaffed today... people had quit, some people hadn't shown up. In the end they hauled out one of the managers, who gave me a thorough tour of all of the laptops, but by then I felt pretty bad for him since I wasn't going to buy anything today anyway, and he knew it.We did have an interesting conversation, however, about the MacBook Air. The manager was explaining to me all the virtues of the itty-bitty super-slender Macbook Air, and how the only thing you had to buy to go along with it was the $400 external hard drive."So I can't just... um... plug a thumb drive into this thing? Or any other external hard drive?" I asked."No." He looked at me like I was an idiot. "You have to buy this one."Then I started asking "where's the speakers? where's the microphone jack? how do you burn a DVD on this thing?"As I expected, all the parts of a laptop you might want to use were sold separately, at $100-500 a pop. The MacBook Air itself was a glorified paperweight, and an insubstantial one at that. ^__^ (Yes, I am ready for all MacBook Air-lovers to attack.)"Do you see this as the future of laptops?" I asked my personal shopper. "In two years are they all going to be like this?""Probably," he said."You guys are brilliant," I said, winking. "Getting people to pay extra for all the stuff that used to come in a laptop for free."Of course, there are benefits to this model, namely that if one thing breaks, you don't have to replace the entire laptop. ^__^ So it isn't completely bad. In fact, having a laptop shell (or... um... eggshell) that you can modify (and upgrade) as you want, pulling things in and out of the USB port as if it were a fast-processing Mr. Potato Head, probably will be beneficial -- and kinda cool -- in the end.Still: at the end of the day, my time in the Apple Store was surprising and a little depressing. Does anyone know if there's something up with Apple? I mean, a year ago it was one of the best places to work retail (in terms of employee creativity, status, and pay scale) and the employees were, for the most part, happy. But the employees I saw today were overstressed and, worse, undercoiffed. They didn't look healthy, they didn't look taken care of, and they didn't look happy to be there.Is it 'cause of the recession thing (is Apple, like everyone else, cutting back), or is there something else going on?

Shane Latin

To own the Happiness

Happiness is what psychologists call our "subjective well-being" and, fortunately for us, it is a state that we can actively change for the better. Here are ways to start.


Listen to the Music
music activates parts of the brain that can trigger happiness, releasing endorphins similar to the ways that sex and food do. Music can also relax the body, sometimes into sleep as it stimulates the brain's release of melatonin.

Snog. Canoodle. Get It On.
It's no secret that a roll in the hay, and all that leads up to it, feels good. Endorphins are the neurotransmitters in your brain that reduce pain and, in the absence of pain, can induce euphoria. A rush of such chemicals might seem like a temporary solution to a dreary day, but there are added benefits, not the least of which is expressing affection and strengthening the bonds of a relationship. Oxytocin is released by the pituitary gland upon orgasm; often referred to as the "hormone of love" or the "cuddle chemical," it is associated with feelings of bonding and trust, and can even reduce stress.”

Nurture Your Spirituality
Survey after survey shows that people with strong religious faith — of any religion or denomination — are happier than those who are irreligious.

Move Your Body
We've all heard about a "runner's high," but there are plenty of other ways to achieve that feeling. Dance. Play a sport. Work out as hard as you can. Take a walk so your stress will take a hike. Moving your body releases endorphins, the quintessential feel-good chemicals found in your brain. How endorphin release is triggered by exercise is somewhat of a controversial science because researchers don't know if it is caused by the positive emotion felt upon meeting a physical challenge or from the exertion itself. Either way, physical motion can provide a rush of good energy that can lift a mood, be it anxiety or mild depression, and it's a good way to keep healthy.

Laugh
Be it a slew of good jokes, a slapstick comedy or laughing yoga, find something to give you a good hearty laugh that brings tears to the eyes or a giggle fit that makes the sides of your body ache. People are 30 times more likely to laugh in groups than alone and, not surprisingly, laughter is associated with helping to develop person-to-person connections through a feedback loop characterized by laughter, social bonding and more laughter. Laughter, like so many other endorphin-triggers, helps to reduce certain stress hormones and, while it might be contagious, it strengthens your immune system rather than weakening it.

Do Something Nice for Someone Else

Make More Money Than Your Peers

Use a Happy Memory as a Guide

Play the Part of an Optimist


Try New Things


Tell Your Story to Someone


Balance Work and Home


Be Like the Danes: Keep Expectations Realistic


Visualize Happiness